Crashdown

You packed up you clothes in that bag every night
I would try to grab your ankles, what a pitiful sight
But after over a year I stopped trying to stop you
From stomping out that door and coming back like you always do

-Peter Silberman in "Two"
_________________________________________________________________________________

Begin: CE 2015-09-04 20:56

T-minus 242:56 to Crashdown

10: Contemplate suggestion.

9: Accept premise. Join together!

8: Plan far future. Sabotage near future. 

7: Maintain status quo. Maintain status quo? 

6: Break down. Begin death spiral

5: Fail to defuse fight. Split apart!

4: Complete death spiral. Vent anger on displaced target. Apologize. 

3: Get fucked up. Recover things previously discarded. Restabilize.

2: Contemplate conclusion. Notify secondarily related parties. Prepare.
1: stall. Second guess. stall. Steel yourself.

0: Cut the cord. forget...

End: CE 2015-09-14 23:52
T-plus 00:00:00

Crashdown

as it seems
two years of you leaning on me
Meant nothing to you
so shall it be
two years of me leaning on you
Mean nothing to me

Your dishonesty is too much to bear
My love is too damaged to continue
Our relationship
Our commiseration
Our celebration
Our connection
Our friendship

is

over



Goodbye
I sincerely hope not forever

Breakfast

I love the dining hall in the morning

The quiet
Space to just eat for once
Instead of the clamor at meals
Later in the day

The intermittent
clatter of the kitchen
making
food for a slow stream
of students

The unity in the union
No one is there to talk
No one to judge you
Just to eat a breakfast

The quiet
Without the silence
Without what permeates my nightmares
Without that sharpest psychological chisel tearing at me
Without any space for that nagging voice in my head to tell me "it's time to go"

I love the dining hall in the mourning

Puzzle

And I, I have to speculate

That God himself did make

Us into corresponding shapes

Like puzzle pieces from the clay

-Ben Gibbard in "Such Great Heights"

_________________________________________________________________________________

The thing about puzzles is

They are always difficult

They take a long time to put

Together

The thing about puzzles is

They are always possible

Their pieces always fit

Together

The thing about puzzles is

You'll end up frustrated
You'll end up angry
You'll end up sad
You'll end up depressed
End up broken
                                 
Just wanting to give up


Don't

The thing about our puzzle is
It took a lot of time
It took a lot of wrong pieces
It took a lot of us

but
We solved it
Together


Together
You and I