For You

Sometimes I lie awake
And wonder
When I stopped caring

For all of this
For these things that matter
For the things I will take with me into the future
For anything
Except
For you

You the one who I care about more than anything
You the one who makes me smile just by talking to me
You the one who makes my heart hurt any time you're anything but joyful
Like you so often are

I'm tearing myself apart
For you
For us
For a mirage a reflection an illusion an image
For nothing

I'm throwing everything away
Drifting away
Slipping away
Wasting away
For you

You who I never wanted to admit I love
You who I couldn't say that I love
You who I wish I didn't love
I pour out this worthless pointless wretched empty love
For you

Always
Forever
Anything
Everything

For you